One of the most glorious revelations of Scripture is that the husband–wife relationship is symbolic of the relationship that exists between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:22–23).

Wives are told in this Ephesian passage to submit themselves to their husbands, because the husband is the God-appointed head of the wife. Wives are also commanded to be subject to their husbands in everything (as the Church should be to Christ), and to respect and reverence them too. Such submission may not be the accepted custom in our day, but it is nevertheless God’s law. A home where this law is flouted will assuredly reap the consequences of disobedience in one way or another. Any Christian girl who has no intention of obeying these commands of God in married life should never get married at all. Far better for such a girl to remain unmarried, than to be married and then to live in perpetual disobedience to God’s commands.

Lest any husband think that God’s ordinance gives him license to make unreasonable demands upon his wife, the passage goes on to say that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it. This implies that husbands are to love their wives with a self-sacrificing love, giving not just things, but themselves – their very lives – for the well-being and happiness of their wives. As Christ loves the Church with an undying love, it is the husband’s duty to love his wife unceasingly, regardless of whether or not he is loved in return. And remember that Christ’s love for His disciples led Him to even wash their feet (John 13:1, 5). Husbands are further commanded in the same passage to love their wives as they love their own bodies. They are not deliberately to hurt or injure the feelings of their wives even as they would not deliberately hurt or injure their own bodies. They are to care for and protect their wives even as they would care for and protect their own bodies from harm and danger. A man who does not intend to follow such Scriptural teaching would best remain unmarried.

God’s intention as revealed in this passage in Ephesians is that every Christian husband and wife should be in miniature a picture of Christ and the Church. Their life together should reveal the beauties of this relationship.

The fact that the command to be filled with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18) immediately precedes this section of husband-wife relationships would seem to indicate the fullness of the Spirit is to result primarily in Christ like behaviour in the home. Conversely, it would mean that in order to glorify God in married life, it is essential that we be filled with the Spirit.

Before looking for a life-partner, every Christian should ask himself whether he really desires to have such a home as described above. How can one who has no such longing expect God’s guidance in marriage. But if this is really your ambition, you can be certain not only that God will lead you into marriage in His perfect will but also that He will strengthen you to build such a home.